when you adopt a child can you choose

There are many reasons why an expectant mother might make the difficult choice to place her baby for adoption, but ultimately, they just want what’s best for their child. On the other side of things, those looking to adopt may be wondering, “When you adopt a child, can you choose the child you’ll take in?” In reality, mothers placing their baby for adoption have a big say in what kind of home their child will be raised in. The final decision most commonly rests with an expectant mother.

However, as adoptive parents, there are a few ways that you can have a say in the child you adopt. We’ll answer the question, “When you adopt a child, can you choose?” below. Read on to learn more about how you can convey preferences to an adoption agency. 

What Kinds of Adoption Are There?

One such way to “choose” as an adoptive parent is to express the type of adoption you’d prefer. Openness is a spectrum and there are no two relationships the same. However, there are three general ideas when it comes to the types of adoption you can choose from. 

The most common kind of adoption is open, in which the expectant mother chooses a family, gets to know them, and maintains a relationship with them before and after giving birth. 

In some cases, an expectant mother will ask the adoption center to choose an adoptive family for her child. This kind of adoption is often known as a closed adoption, in which the birth mother won’t have any kind of relationship with the adoptive family either before or after giving birth. In some closed adoptions, the expectant mother will still want to choose the family but desires no ongoing communication.

The final type of adoption is a semi-open option. In this type, birth mothers will often choose the adoptive family and have the opportunity to spend a bit of time with the adoptive parents at the hospital. After that, the birth mother may request pictures or letters of the child, but there are typically no in-person visitations. 

Adoptive parents can share what type of adoption they’d prefer, narrowing down the list of potential children based on the birth mother’s preferences as well. 

Can You Choose the Child You Adopt?

Choosing to adopt is undoubtedly a momentous decision for you and your family. It is important to have a collaborative relationship with the adoption agency you choose to share your preferences and ensure a team approach when matching. And, even though the answer to the question “Can you choose the child you adopt?” is ultimately no, having an agency know your preferences can help create a beautiful ongoing relationship for the entire adoption triad.

The more information you share, the easier it will be for your adoption agency to help an expectant mother make the best decision for her baby and find a family that will honor her wishes.

How the Adoption Process Will Go

One of the first steps is to submit a contact inquiry on Texas Adoption Center’s website. You’ll receive an adoption handbook full of information about the agency, the adoption process, eligibility requirements, estimated case fees, etc. After reading through the handbook, you’ll be prompted to complete an  Adoptive Parent Pre-Application to provide basic information about your family. The details you share on this pre-application give a broad overview of you and your spouse (if applicable), including your occupations, income, and if you already have any children of your own. 

With this pre-application snapshot of your family in hand, the adoption center will review it, getting to know your family better. Once your pre-application is approved, you can fill out the main application that really gets your journey to adoption underway!

Share Your Preferences

During the application process, you can set the preferences for the child you want to adopt. For example, if you’re interested in transracial adoption (in which a child of one race or ethnicity is placed with a family of a different race/ethnicity), express that desire. 

If you prefer a girl over a boy, let your adoption center know. You will be given expectant mother cases to look over that hopefully match up with your preferences. Following that, expectant mothers will be given information about you and your family, through the profile you create. 

The Home Study

The home study is an essential part of the adoption process. While every state’s requirements for adoption differ, you can only become adoptive parents for a child with an approved home study in your state of residence.

After filling out your application, the adoption center will require you to send them a variety of documents, including a background check. Once all of the documentation is in hand, the adoption center will interview you and your family, visit your home, and see what your living circumstances and lifestyle are like.

Why is the home study so important? An adoption center’s number one priority when placing children is ensuring they are being placed in a good and safe home, a place where they will be loved. 

The best way to make sure that a family and a child are ideally matched is with a thoroughly-researched home study, which you will also be sent about a month after your home visit.

It’s Time To Start Your Adoption Journey

As you can see, the question of “When you adopt a child, can you choose which one you get?” doesn’t really have a simple answer. But, then, adoption isn’t a simple process, though it is ultimately very rewarding.

Every step in your adoption journey is in the best interest of the child you eventually welcome into your home as one of your own. If you’re ready to get started, Texas Adoption Center is ready to guide and support you from start to finish and beyond. Contact us today to get started with your pre-application!

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