If I choose adoption, what is the first step? How do I make a decision? Where do I go from here? Who can I talk to?
If you are beginning to consider adoption, you are sure to have what seems like a hundred questions. Take a deep breath. Let’s start at the very beginning with some adoption advice and guidance for birth mothers.
With that said, we encourage you to weigh your options intentionally and reach out to friends, family, and an adoption center for support. We also recommend diving deeper into the process of adoption as a whole. Your questions are so valuable and important! All of these steps—yes, even the stressful ones—are an important part of this process.
Adoption Advice and Guidance for Birth Mothers
As you work through the emotions and the options available to you, getting more information can help you feel prepared before making your decision.
Placing your child for adoption is a brave decision that only you can make. There are many reasons birth mothers choose to place the child for adoption, from wanting better opportunities for the child to not being ready to parent and more. Whatever your reason for choosing adoption is, be sure to get adoption advice and guidance from a range of sources.
If you’re not sure about adoption, that’s okay. You have options. Now, let’s start with the very first step: Weighing all options.
1. Consider Your Options
To start, although facing an unplanned pregnancy can feel scary at first, you can take a deep breath, knowing that you are not alone. If you feel overwhelmed at any time, reach out to Texas Adoption Center for support. Whether you would like adoption advice or just someone to help you work through the emotions, we are here. We will help you weigh and understand all of the options that you have.
Having said that, you have three general options: parenting, terminating the pregnancy or placing your child for adoption. As you think about these options, take note of your feelings about each one. Listening to your gut reaction will be very informative. Give yourself time to digest your thoughts and feelings. And, like we said, if you become overwhelmed, we are only a phone call away!
2. Write Down the Pros and Cons of Each Option
While taking the time to consider your options, take the time to document your thoughts. After all, writing your thoughts down is more productive than letting them run circles in your mind. Write the pros and cons in two columns beneath each option and see where this takes you. Or, if you would rather, journaling is a great alternative as well. Regardless, your thoughts are very powerful and deserve attention!
When it comes to placing a child for adoption, there are pros and cons. Some pros of adoption include:
- You can choose the family
- You allow the adoptive family to fulfill their parenthood dreams
- The child will be loved and cared
- You can maintain contact
On the other hand, the adoption process can produce negative feelings, including sadness and regret. A birth mother may second guess her decision and wonder if she made the right choice.
You can read more about adoption regrets that birth mothers may feel here.
3. Talk to a Trusted Friend or Relative
Support is incredibly important when it comes to making a big decision. Don’t bear the weight of this decision alone. If you have trustworthy and supportive friends and family in your life, reach out. Explain the situation and be open and honest about your feelings. They may be able to provide insight and offer a helping hand during this time in your life.
You may receive conflicting information from friends and family. Writing down the options, speaking with multiple trusted family members and friends and performing your own research can help you sort out this choice. Another helpful step is speaking to someone who has been in your position, which brings us to our next step.
4. Talk to Another Birth Mother
The best adoption advice and guidance could come from someone who has already walked that path. If you know someone who placed a baby for adoption, ask her questions. If you do not know of someone who has placed their baby for adoption, take the time to read reviews from other birth mothers. In the meantime, here are a few reviews to start with:
“My baby girl got placed with the best family I could have ever imagined because [Texas Adoption Center] helped me. I could never thank them enough.” –Birth Mother SA
“Stacey is the kindest, most helpful person I’ve ever met. She came to every appointment, was in the room with me as I underwent labor, and even stayed with me half the time I was stuck in the hospital after my c-section despite having kids and obligations of her own. She basically convinced me to tell my family and to stop being ashamed of the decision I made for my baby. I don’t know what I would have done without her.” –Birth Mother KS
Birth mothers can offer firsthand adoption advice and guidance that you can use as you make your decision. Consider speaking with a birth mother to hear about adoption from a close-up perspective.
5. Join a Support Group
Another place to seek out adoption advice and guidance is in a support group. Consider joining a support group for birth mothers that offers information and connection with people who are in your position or have been in your position before. Here, you can get adoption advice from those who understand what you are going through.
BraveLove offers online support groups for birth moms, birth mom dinners across the country, and has personal stories of birth mothers discussing why they decided to pursue adoption and how it has affected their lives.
You can also seek out local support groups for pregnant women in your community. Whether you choose an in-person or online support group, make sure that you find a space that you feel comfortable and welcomed in.
6. Speak to a Professional
Adoption specialists understand the ins and outs of the adoption process and can walk you through your options. Texas Adoption Center employs a staff of down-to-Earth women who care about your happiness and future. If you need adoption advice or have questions about how to deal with an unexpected pregnancy, our adoption specialists can help.
We’ll provide unwavering support, a listening ear, and plenty of information about all of your options. We will give you a safe space to learn about adoption. Additionally, adoption specialists may be able to connect you with resources, including financial assistance and medical care. Adoption agencies often provide birth mothers with:
- Financial assistance with living expenses
- Access to coverage for pregnancy-related medical expenses
- Referrals to professionals, including counselors
Take the time to chat with a professional who can give you adoption advice and answer questions you have about the process. The more you know, the more informed you’ll be before you make your decision.
7. Ask Questions
Remember to ask as many questions as possible! Regardless of which option you are considering, it is important to be informed of all of the different possibilities. This way, you can find comfort and confidence in your decision.
If you are weighing the possibility of adoption, keep reading to find some of our most frequently asked questions!
- What are the pros and cons of adoption vs. abortion?
- Adoption First Steps: How to Get Started in Texas
- How to Give a Baby Up for Adoption After Birth
Learn More About Your Options Today
Compassionate and professional support is available for you at Texas Adoption Center. We are here to help you and are a judgment-free environment so that you can express your thoughts and feelings freely.
You may speak to us confidentially and without obligation! Contact us today by calling 844-893-7943 or sending a text message to 361-461-3742.