I just took a positive pregnancy test. What should I do?
Pregnancy is a life-changing event that can produce a lot of different emotions.
Some women welcome an unexpected pregnancy with excitement. However, it is normal for many women to feel shocked, overwhelmed, or scared. Women of all birthing years, backgrounds, relationship statuses, and more find out they are pregnant unintentionally. Dealing with a potentially unwanted pregnancy can bring about a range of emotions, and whatever you might be feeling is valid. However, there is a healthy way and an unhealthy way to respond to this news.
Whether you’re looking forward to growing a family or unsure if parenting is right for you, there are common tips for dealing with an unplanned pregnancy.
Do’s & Dont’s of Coping With an Unexpected Pregnancy
DO: Take a Breath Before Making Any Big Decisions
Give yourself time to process the initial shock of the news. You don’t have to decide anything right away. Emotions can run high, and taking time to reflect allows for better long-term decisions.
DON’T: Let Fear or Panic Drive Your Choices
It’s normal to feel overwhelmed, but try not to let fear dictate your next steps. Seek information and support so you can move forward with clarity.
DO: Get Accurate Medical Information
Schedule a medical appointment to confirm the pregnancy result with a blood test, determine how far along you are, and check on your health. This helps you understand your options more clearly from a healthcare provider.
DON’T: Rely Solely on the Internet or Misinformation
There’s a lot of conflicting or inaccurate advice online. Always check with licensed professionals, reputable clinics, or qualified counselors.
DO: Explore All Your Options
Take time to learn about parenting, the adoption process (open, semi-open, or closed), and abortion (if legally available in your area) before you decide to continue. Understanding each option empowers you to choose what feels right for your situation.
DON’T: Rush Into What Others Want You to Do
Well-meaning people may try to sway your decision, but this is your life. Don’t feel pressured to choose a path that doesn’t align with your values, goals, or comfort.
DO: Talk to Someone You Trust
Confiding in a friend, family member, therapist, or pregnancy counselor can help you feel supported and less alone. Verbalizing your thoughts can bring relief and clarity.
DON’T: Isolate Yourself
Keeping everything inside can amplify stress and anxiety. You don’t have to go through this alone—even if you’re unsure who to turn to, there are confidential support hotlines and centers.
DO: Take Care of Your Mental and Physical Health
Pregnancy care is essential; eat well, get rest, and find small ways to reduce stress (walking, journaling, deep breathing). Your well-being is priority #1, no matter which path you choose.
DON’T: Ignore Your Emotions or Mental Health
Bottling up your emotions can lead to increased anxiety or depression. It’s okay to cry, feel confused, or be unsure. It’s also okay to seek counseling or therapy.
DO: Consider Your Long-Term Goals
Think about where you see yourself in one year, five years, ten years. Your future matters, and your decision can align with your values, lifestyle, and goals.
DON’T: Assume You’re Out of Options
Even if the situation feels hopeless at first, there are always resources and paths forward. Organizations exist to help with financial support, housing, childcare, counseling, and more, including exploring alternative care arrangements.
DO: Know That Whatever You’re Feeling is Valid
Anger, sadness, relief, denial, joy—whatever emotion you’re experiencing, it’s valid. An unplanned pregnancy doesn’t come with a one-size-fits-all reaction.
DON’T: Judge Yourself
This happens to millions of people, from all walks of life. Being pregnant unexpectedly does not mean you’ve failed. You deserve compassion and grace—especially from yourself.
Trusted Steps to Take
1. Identify Your Options
The first thing you need to understand after you learn about an unplanned pregnancy is that you have options.
You don’t have to make a decision right now, nor should you be rushed into making a decision about your unplanned pregnancy. But, knowing your options will help you make a decision.
There are three primary options when it comes to dealing with an unplanned pregnancy. Below, we’re going to break them down for you.
Let’s briefly go over your three options.
- Parenting can be a rewarding but challenging experience. Mothers make sacrifices for their children every day because babies require a lot of time, energy, and resources. Think carefully about how parenting will impact your daily life and your future to determine if it is the best option for you right now.
- A medical abortion is a very personal decision. Many people feel it is not morally right to terminate a pregnancy, while others do not feel they can carry the baby to the full term. No matter your stance, know that abortion services can be a very emotional and taxing process.
- Last but not least, you can choose to place your baby for adoption. If you do not want to become a parent, but you know abortion is not right for you, adoption may be the best option. In the end, though, adoption is your choice. If you are not married, you do not need the father’s consent to place your baby for adoption, nor do you need parental consent if you are under eighteen. Texas Adoption Center will work with you on your specific situation to assess your support system.
2. Talk to Someone You Trust
Talking with trusted friends or family members about your unintended pregnancy can be a great comfort to you.
In the beginning, try to talk with someone who will understand your situation. You won’t benefit from talking with someone who would get angry, upset, or try to persuade you to make a decision you don’t want to make.
A trusted friend can support you through this situation. This person can help protect you if you feel unsafe telling your family or the baby’s father.
If you don’t have anyone you feel comfortable talking to about your situation, consider talking to a counselor about your situation.
3. Find a Healthy Coping Strategy
An unplanned pregnancy can come as a shock. The last thing you want to do is make a rushed and uneducated decision.
Find a healthy coping strategy to help you deal with your overwhelming feelings and thoughts.
Many women seek out birth mother support groups to learn from others’ experiences. In these settings, women share stories about their pregnancy and the decision-making process.
Others may seek the solace of journaling, meditation, or physical activity.
If you don’t feel that you can cope, it is recommended that you seek professional help and support from loved ones or others who have experienced similar situations.
4. Face Your Doubts
As said before, pregnancy is a life-changing situation!
Whichever decision you choose may alter your goals, viewpoint, and more. That being said, it’s normal to have doubts about whether or not you’re making a right or wrong decision.
Though these initial doubts can be overwhelming, don’t allow these feelings to push you into making a hasty decision. Acknowledge your feelings about the situation, but don’t let fear make your decision for you.
Talking with a professional may help you eradicate your fears about your decision and face the future with confidence. Don’t be afraid to seek help from friends, family, and community members during this challenging time.
5. Trust Your Gut
It’s important to be practical.
You will want to analyze your financial situation, housing accommodations, plans for the future, and more. However, it’s also critical to trust your gut. Don’t let finances be the determining factor in what happens to your baby. There are financial options for every option.
For a moment, set aside other people’s opinions, your education, your job, and outside issues. Think about what you want. Picture yourself taking care of your baby, going about your daily life with a little person in your arms. Think about what it will be like to give birth in a hospital and send your baby home with another family. How will an abortion make you feel?
Deep down, chances are you know what you want to do with your pregnancy. Trust your gut, and do what you know is best for you and your new baby.
Why Women Need to Be Mindful of Their Safety After Discovering an Unplanned Pregnancy
Finding out you’re pregnant—especially when it’s unplanned—can already feel overwhelming. But for some women, the fear doesn’t come just from the situation itself, but from how a partner might react. That’s why it’s crucial to be mindful of your physical and emotional safety and seek reliable health services during this time.
An Unplanned Pregnancy Can Escalate Abuse
Pregnancy, planned or unplanned, can unfortunately trigger controlling or violent behavior in some partners. If someone is already emotionally or physically abusive, learning about a pregnancy may increase manipulation, threats, or violence. For others, abuse might begin for the first time during pregnancy. It is crucial to be aware of the legal protections available to safeguard oneself in such situations.
Warning Signs of Abuse That May Intensify After a Pregnancy Announcement
- Anger or aggression in response to the pregnancy news
- Accusations, blame, or denial of responsibility
- Controlling behaviors, such as pressuring you into a specific decision (abortion, parenting, or adoption)
- Isolation, like preventing you from speaking to others or seeking care
- Emotional manipulation, including guilt-tripping or threatening to leave
- Physical violence or threats of harm toward you or the pregnancy
If you’re experiencing any of these signs, it’s time to prioritize your safety above all else and seek supports such as assistance from social workers or pregnancy options counselors.
Your Safety Comes First—Always
You have the right to make choices about your body and your future without fear. That includes being able to:
- Seek medical care privately
- Speak to a counselor or support center
- Make a decision about the pregnancy free of coercion
If you’re worried about your safety, consider speaking to someone confidentially before disclosing the pregnancy to your partner. Many domestic violence organizations and pregnancy resource centers can help create a safety plan. Additionally, you can use a dedicated phone line to access information on contraception, pregnancy options, and sexual health services.
Talk to a Professional
Texas Adoption Center is a local adoption center in Texas. They are a professional agency that is down-to-earth, caring, and dedicated to your happiness and well being.
Are you considering adoption, or are you simply unsure of what you should do?
Texas Adoption Center’s goal is to empower you to make the choices that are best for you.
If you would like to learn more about your options, learn about the adoption process, or need support during this overwhelming time in your life, contact Texas Adoption Center today.
Give us a call at 512-893-7943, or fill out a contact form for more information. You can also call 1800 My Options to explore all available resources and make an informed decision.
