effects of adoption on birth mother

I’ve thought about adoption, but I don’t know if it’s right for me. Do other birth mothers experience this?

Are you wondering if adoption is right for you?

If so, you may wonder about the adoption process as well as the effects it might have on you.

The effects of adoption on birth mothers may include grief or grief. Some birth mothers even have adoption regrets.

At the same time, many women feel confident in their decision, knowing that it was the best choice for her baby. Adoption can be a beautiful process that benefits children!

Don’t just take our word for it—hear from a birth mother herself.

We had the honor of talking to birth mom “B” about her adoption experience. After placing two adorable baby girls with a loving family, “B” feels confident that adoption was her best possible choice.

Here is what she had to say.

The Effects of Adoption From Birth Mother “B”

What type of adoption did you choose, and why?

“B”: I chose to have an open adoption. Both times. From the beginning, I knew that I would have an open adoption. It was very important for me to get the know the family that I was choosing and to continue a relationship with them after the adoption was finalized.

Adoption wasn’t just giving up my child; it was choosing what was best for her. I want to be part of both of my daughters’ lives, but I just can’t be the mom I need to be to them as well as be a full-time working mom to my son.

I didn’t want my child or the adoptive parents to think that I didn’t want anything to do with them or that when the adoption was finalized, I was done with the relationship.

The adoptive parents and I have a very open relationship. We talk to whenever we have time. Though I don’t see them very often, I get updates and pictures about how the girls are doing.

Why did you choose adoption?

“B”: The first time I placed a baby for adoption, it was an unplanned pregnancy. Adoption didn’t initially come to mind. I thought my only two choices were abortion or parenting, and never really considered abortion. I don’t think I could terminate a pregnancy that occurred because I wasn’t being responsible or safe.

As I was looking online, adoption came up as an option, and I started looking at agencies in Texas. I searched for people I could call to help me understand the adoption process a little bit more. At first, it was all very confusing to me, and definitely scary. But after going through the process, I am confident that adoption was the best choice for me.

What was the most challenging aspect of your adoption journey?

“B”: The most challenging part of the entire process was finding a couple that was the right fit for my baby. Finding the perfect couple, people you feel can provide your baby with the best life possible, is difficult—especially as a mom.

What advice would you offer birth moms considering adoption?

“B”: Thinking about adoption is terrifying. When you first consider adoption, the process can seem intimidating and scary. But you know what’s best for your child. Be strong, and understand that in the end, it’s worth it for your child to have the best life.

What is your relationship like with your adoption specialist?

“B”: The adoption specialist I worked with, as well as everyone else I interacted with at the agency, made me feel like what I was doing was positive.

I developed a strong friendship with my adoption specialist, Katy, and still, stay in contact with her. She was with me every step of the way, at doctor’s appointments, at the hospital. She was very supportive.

Adoption is hard, and a lot of it is confusing. But if you ask the right questions and talk to a specialist who really cares about you, you will have a good experience. You should be open about how you feel, and understand that it’s okay to develop a relationship with your adoption specialist as well as the adoptive family.

I didn’t want to work with an agency that is all about business. You want to work with an agency that is focused on what is best for you and your baby.

What services was Texas Adoption able to provide?

“B”: Being pregnant is financially straining. Texas Adoption was able to assist me with hospital and medical bills, which really helped during that time.

I am completely happy with my choice to place my daughters for adoption, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t and isn’t emotional. The second time I went through the adoption process, it was especially emotional for me. That’s not to say that I loved my first daughter any less. It was just different and more emotionally taxing than the first time. Texas Adoption suggested that I talk to someone, and it is continuing to provide emotional support.

What does the future hold for you as a mom?

“B”: Right now I am focusing on developing my relationship with my son and being the best mom I can to him, while at the same time being the best “tummy mom” that I can be to my two daughters and a partner to their adoptive parents.

Are You Considering Adoption?

Thanks for reading about “B’s” experience, in her own words. At Texas Adoption Center, we are advocates for you. Though the effects of adoption can be emotional, it can also be a very rewarding experience. We love all of our birth moms. Our goal is to look out for your wellbeing and the wellbeing of your baby.

For more information or to speak to one of our Adoption Specialists, fill out a contact form or give us a call at 512-893-7943. Be sure to follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter!

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