how to deal with unwanted pregnancy as a man

It’s true that unplanned pregnancies can be overwhelming for both partners involved, even if the situation is much more impactful for women. The emotional and practical challenges that men face during an unexpected pregnancy are still significant, and it is crucial to address and support their experiences. 

In this article, we will explore the complexities of an unwanted pregnancy from a male perspective, offering guidance and insights on coping techniques and the importance of supporting the expectant mother.

Acknowledging Emotions

Discovering that a partner is unexpectedly pregnant can trigger a range of emotions for a man. It’s important to acknowledge and process these feelings, which may include:

  • shock, 
  • fear, 
  • anxiety, 
  • joy,
  • hope,
  • and confusion. 

Men should give themselves permission to feel and express their emotions openly and without fear of rejection.

Supporting the Expectant Mother

While it is undeniably challenging for men to grapple with unexpected pregnancies, it is equally essential to prioritize the well-being and emotions of the expectant mother. Open communication is vital here as well, fostering an environment where both partners feel heard and supported. 

Men should actively engage in discussions about the future, consider the options available and express their thoughts and concerns with empathy.

Understanding the Decision-Making Process

Navigating the complexities of an unwanted pregnancy involves making difficult decisions about the future. Men must recognize that the ultimate choice of what to do post-pregnancy is the woman’s decision. Understanding and respecting her autonomy in this matter is vital, and men should try not to pressure or control the expectant mother. 

It’s essential to approach the decision-making process as a group effort, with both partners contributing their perspectives and feelings.

Exploring Options Together

Couples facing an unexpected pregnancy should try to explore their options together, whether it’s parenting or adoption. If possible, and if the expectant mother is open to it, both partners can actively participate in the decision-making process. Each option comes with its own set of challenges and rewards, and open dialogue can help couples arrive at a decision that aligns with their values and situation.

Seeking Professional Guidance

Dealing with an unexpected pregnancy is a complex situation, and seeking professional guidance can be invaluable. Couples may benefit from counseling or therapy to navigate their emotions and make informed decisions. It’s important for men to recognize the significance of mental health support during this challenging time and encourage their partners to seek help if needed.

Open Communication

Unplanned pregnancies are emotionally charged situations that can create a whirlwind of feelings for both partners. Open communication is not just about expressing your thoughts but also actively listening to your partner’s feelings and concerns. Establishing a safe space for dialogue allows for mutual understanding and emotional support. 

Tip for partners: Consider engaging in regular check-ins, allowing both partners to express their evolving emotions and concerns as they process the situation together.

Educate Yourself

Knowledge is a powerful tool when facing an unexpected pregnancy. Take the initiative to:

  1. educate yourself about pregnancy, 
  2. the various options available, 
  3. and the potential challenges and rewards associated with each choice. 

Understanding the physical and emotional aspects of pregnancy can empower you to make informed decisions collaboratively. 

Build a Support System

The weight of an unexpected pregnancy is not meant to be carried alone. Building a support system is crucial for both partners. Connect with friends, family, or support groups who have experienced similar situations. 

Sharing your experiences and seeking advice from those who have navigated the challenges of unplanned pregnancies can provide valuable insights and reassurance. Establishing a network of understanding individuals can help alleviate feelings of isolation and contribute to a more resilient emotional state.


The emotional toll of an unexpected pregnancy can be overwhelming, making self-care a non-negotiable part of coping. Prioritize activities that promote mental and emotional well-being, such as exercise, meditation, or engaging in hobbies. Take breaks to recharge, and be mindful of your emotional state. 

Seeking professional counseling or therapy is another avenue for self-care, providing a confidential space to process emotions and gain additional coping tools. Recognize that taking care of your well-being is not selfish but a necessary step to support your partner better and make informed decisions together.

Be Open to Adoption

Adoption can be a wonderful, beautiful act that builds a good life for the unborn child and the expectant mother. For men in this situation, it can be tempting to push adoption as the best choice or be strongly against it. Remember to listen and support the expectant mother first. 

Her decisions and opinions matter the most in this situation and should be respected. If possible, explore adoption options together as a team. 

Reach Out to Texas Adoption Center For Answers

Texas Adoption Center is ready to answer any questions you have about adoption and provide needed support to expectant mothers. Even if you or the expectant mother aren’t sure about adoption, Texas Adoption Center is a source of unconditional support. 

Contact them today for more information. 

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